


The Life and Times of Jess Mariano

by badwolfchild



Series: I'm a Book Half Unread [7]
Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fatherly Luke, Gen, Jess plays tourguide, town meetings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-05
Updated: 2018-11-05
Packaged: 2019-08-18 21:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16524659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badwolfchild/pseuds/badwolfchild
Summary: Jess blames Rory. She just had to talk up the town so much that Oliver just has to see it and the stupid town meeting.





	The Life and Times of Jess Mariano

“I just don’t get why that word makes you cringe so much.” Rory says.

 

Lorelai shudders. “Because, it’s just a terrible, cringe worthy word.” She defends herself.

 

Jess brings over two plates of waffles to the Gilmore table. “Do I wanna know?”

 

“Mom hates the word moist.” Rory answers.

 

Lorelai groans. “Blah! You’re ruining my appetite!”

 

Jess shakes his head. He only brought that on himself. “What's the special occasion that got you two here before noon on a Saturday? Big shoe sale?” He asks as they dig in, changing the subject.

 

“We are meeting Darren Springsteen, a Harvard graduate, to help us get over some application anxiety we got going on.” Lorelai says with a mouthful.

 

Jess nods, losing interest. “Well, say hi to his brother Bruce for me.” She takes another huge bite, giving him a figure gun as she does so. Rolling his eyes, Jess heads back behind the counter.

 

“Should I start getting on you about college applications?” Luke asks, already knowing Jess’ feelings about college.

 

“It’s not even october yet. Let’s save that argument for around december.”

 

Luke nods, passing him as he heads over to the kitchen. “I’ll make sure to mark it on my calendar.”

 

“Hey, isn't Oliver coming out to the Hollow today?” Rory asks, at least having the decency to chew and swallow first.

 

“Oh yeah! You guys are having a playdate.” Lorelai teases.

 

Jess leans forward on the counter. “First of all, I haven’t had a playdate since I was six. And secondly, blame big mouth over there,” He gestures at Rory, who makes a ‘who me?’ face after taking a big bite. “She went on and on about how much she loves going to the stupid town meetings, so now he wants to see one for himself. I figured two birds and one stone, and show him the rest of the town as well today since he’s always asking about it.”

 

Lorelai turns to Rory. “Sounds like a playdate to me.”

 

Rory nods, playing along. “Definitely a playdate.”

 

“Here I am, serving your food, and yet I’m still treated like this. Hope you enjoy your  _ moist _ waffles.” He chuckles as he dodges a spoon Lorelai throws his way.

 

“Am I in the right place?” Oliver asks, hovering in the doorway.

 

“Just in time for the show.” Jess motions for him to sit at the counter.

 

He does as he’s told slowly. “Wha-” Jess shushes him, pointing at Luke as he marches up to Lorelai from the backroom.

 

“That’s it, you’ve lost your spoon privileges for a week.” Luke plucks the spoon Lorelai had taken from Rory out of her hand.

 

“But what if I want to order oatmeal? Or soup! I could have a craving for your minestrone soup, but unable to have any because all I have is a fork and knife.” She whines.

 

“You’re gonna want soup in eighty degree weather?” Luke asks skeptically.

 

“I don’t know, but I liked to have the option to, and now you’ve taken that option away. What next, you’ll stop serving breakfast at noon?”

 

Luke pauses. “I  _ do _ stop serving breakfast at noon. Anyway, minestrone is mostly a chucky soup, you could eat it with a fork.” He takes their empty plates, effectively ending the conversation. “And you,” He glares at Jess. “Wipe that grin off your face, I know you caused this somehow.”

 

Jess holds his hands up. “I did nothing of the sort. I just told her to enjoy her breakfast. You know, service with a smile.”

 

Luke gives him one more searching stare, before taking the dirty dishes to the kitchen.

 

Jess turns back to Oliver, who has a shocked look on his face. “Yeah, that happens all the time.” He answers Oliver’s unasked question.

 

000000000000000000000000000000000

 

Luke shakes his head after Lorelai throws Kirk’s spoon at an exiting Jess. “So, who was that?” He asks as he pours Lorelai and Rory another cup of coffee, not recognizing the kid Jess left with. “Should I be concerned he just left with someone I don’t know?”

 

Lorelai waves him off. “Nah, he’s fine. That’s just Oliver, he goes to school with Rory.”

 

“Oh.” Luke sounds surprised. “So that’s who he’s been racking the phone bill up with?”

 

Rory makes a shocked noise. “They talk on the phone?”

 

“Yeah, just about every night for the past week. It’s been a pain trying to watch tv, I’m nearly at the point of watching down in the diner again.”

 

Rory shakes her head. “That little liar, Jess never told me that.”

 

00000000000000000

 

Jess ushers Oliver out, dodging another spoon Lorelai had stolen from Kirk.

 

“Seriously, thrown cutlery is normal behavior? Nobody in there so much as batted an eye.” Oliver asks again as Jess leads him down the sidewalk, opposite direction from Patty’s. He already spotted her teaching some dance class, something with little kids and having them be falling leaves, and doesn’t want to risk having her meet Oliver. He’s still shocked about Lorelai throwing spoons, having him meet Miss Patty this soon would be too much for him.

 

“Normal enough for Stars Hollow. You tend to develop a bit of a thick skin to it all.” Jess shrugs, keeping an eye out for Babette as well.

 

Oliver stops in front of Doose’s Market. “Mind if I get a soda first?”

 

Jess stuffs his hands in his pockets. “Go ahead, I’ll wait here. The owner’s not a big fan of mine, plus it’s probably best if he doesn’t know you’re hanging out with me.” He winces at the memory of the chewing out poor Dean got.

 

“If you say so, but there’s more to the story there and you are so telling me.”

 

Jess nods. “Deal.” After Oliver leaves, Jess plops down on the curb. He spots Dean in his coveralls on his way to work and jumps up again. “Dean, wait!” He runs across the street.

 

“Jess, I’m late for work.” Dean sighs.

 

“Gypse can wait. I just wanted to explain what happened last week.”

 

“Oh, you mean where you bit my head off when I was just trying to help?” He asks rhetorically.

 

Jess runs a hand through his hair, letting it rest behind his neck. “I was having a bad day, a really bad day. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”

 

“And that’s just it, Jess. You never  _ mean _ to snap at people, but you do anyway.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Jess interrupts. “I am, I really am.”

 

He holds his breath as he waits for Dean to answer. “You can’t keep pushing everyone away that tries to help. I’m your friend, you can come to me when things are bothering you.”

 

“I’m working on it.” He promises.

 

Dean finally smiles. “Okay. So, is that the guy Rory told me about? The one that works on the Franklin with her?”

 

Jess relaxes, relieved he got things fixed with Dean. “Yeah, Oliver. He went to get a soda and probably just realized Taylor only stocks like two different kinds.”

 

“Actually, it’s three now. I heard a rumor he started carrying grape soda.”

 

“Oo, movin’ up in the world. I think we’re looking at the next Walmart here.”

 

Dean chuckles. “I really do need to go. Talk to you later?”

 

“Yeah, now get lost.”

 

Dean watches Oliver jog over as he walks backwards. “Good luck spending the day with Mr. Personality there!” He calls out before taking off.

 

“Who was that?”

 

Jess rolls his eyes. “Just Dean. Ignore him.”

 

“Rory’s Dean?” Jess nods as they start walking through the square. “Huh. He’s a lot taller than I imagined.”

 

000000000000000

 

Even at a slow pace, a whole tour of the town only took about forty minutes. It would have been faster, but turns out, it’s hard to explain how a place called Al’s Pancake World sells every type of food under the sun except for pancakes. All in all, Jess probably wasn’t the best choice of tour guides, Rory definitely being the better option, but he got the job done. He tells Oliver as much as they sit on the bridge with their lunch from Al’s.

 

Oliver shakes his head. “Hey, no worries, this place is awesome. Way better than Hartford.”

 

“Even with the nosy neighbors getting in your business?” Jess asks seriously. Every person they ran into today, from Andrew to Kirk wanted to know who the new face in town was. At least most everyone has come to begrudgingly accept Jess after he got Lorelai on his side. Taylor’s still the only one willing to chase him out of town with a torch and pitchfork with glee, some things never changing, but the others gave Oliver a chance and didn’t automatically assume he was trouble like they did with Jess.

 

“Honestly, that’s probably one of the best parts. Everyone is so friendly and knows everyone else, I’ve lived in the same house all my life and I couldn’t point out even one of my neighbors in a lineup if my life depended on it.”

 

“Living in New York was the same way. Although, with the neighborhoods I grew up in, most of my neighbors probably  _ were _ in a lineup at some point.”

 

“Do you miss it? Living in New York.”

 

Jess takes a bite of his food, using the excuse of chewing to think about it. Instinctually he wants to say yes, even six months ago he wouldn’t be hesitating, but things have changed. Living in New York, everything felt so alive, no matter the time, day or night, he would hear others. Cars, tvs, sirens, he got so used to all the noises that when he moved here the town seemed so dead at night. It drove him insane, leading him to blast his music at night just for some semblance of normal. 

 

Now though, he finds it more peaceful than dead. Hell, he hasn’t had his stereo on past ten at night for months.

 

“I don’t miss having to worry about being mugged when walking alone at night.” He settles on.

 

Things get a little awkward after that as they continue to eat their food in silence. Jess curses at himself mentally as he forgot he wasn’t talking to someone that’s used to his dry, and sometimes dark, sense of humor. He’s about to take it back when Oliver speaks up. 

 

“Okay. What the hell am I eating?” He holds up a bright red noodle with his fork. “I thought by the picture that it was spaghetti, but it tastes  _ nothing _ like spaghetti. It doesn’t even taste remotely Italian.”

 

Jess snorts into his food as he shakes his head. “Because it isn’t. That’s Al’s new edition, beet pasta salad with goat cheese, pine nuts, and walnuts.”

 

“Dear lord,  _ why _ would someone think any of those foods go together?”

 

Jess shrugs, having heard from Rory about much weirder food combos Al has tried in the past. “Eh, some of his experiments works, some don’t.” Jess catches Oliver subtly eye his food and sighs. “Do you wanna trade? I just got normal fried rice.” He even tips the container forward a little.

 

“Please?”

 

They swap take-out containers, Oliver waiting to see what Jess’ opinion of the pasta is. He takes a small bite, chewing slowly.

 

“Well? Is it a hit or miss?”

 

Jess forces himself to swallow, shaking his head the whole time. “Miss. Definitely a miss. Between the beets and the pine nuts, it was like I was eating dirt.”

 

“And the goat cheese?”

 

“Oh god! The goat cheese! Why was it warm?! The rest of the pasta was cold, so any reasonable person would think the cheese should be too, but it was warm!”

 

The conversation stays light after that, Jess sticking with stories that don’t involve major bodily harm. The  _ Catcher in the Rye _ story was a hit as always, and Oliver got a real kick out of all the pranks he’s pulled around town.

 

Unfortunately, the time comes all too quickly for them to start making their way to Miss Patty’s for the town meeting. Jess drags his feet the whole way there, and even stops for a hotdog to put off having to go to the thing.

 

It’s packed by the time they show up, but they manage to find two seats next to Luke.

 

“There is no eating in here, young man. You know the rules.” Taylor says from the front of the room.

 

“And a great rule that is. I’ll be sure to let people know if I see them.” Jess says as he takes a bite of his hotdog.

 

Taylor rolls his eyes, giving up easy and going to talk with someone else.

 

“Must you antagonize him at every given opportunity?” Luke groans.

 

“If he didn’t make it so easy than I wouldn’t.”

 

His uncle sighs, not in the mood to fight him on this. “You gonna introduce your new friend?”

 

“Oliver, Luke, Luke, Oliver. All introduced.” Jess goes back to his hotdog.

 

Luke holds out his hand. “Luke Danes, this one’s uncle. Sorry about him, he’s a minimal conversationalist.”

 

“ _ He _ is sitting right here.” Jess complains. He knew coming to this thing was a bad idea.

 

Oliver shakes his hand, both of them ignoring Jess. “It’s good to meet you, and it’s fine, I’m told I talk enough for two.”

 

This right here is why he wanted to show up late. Now the two have time to talk and bond, the only silver lining he has is that Rory and Lorelai aren’t here to join in on the madness too. He hushes them the second Taylor gets to the podium. Of course it has nothing to do with the fact that Luke’s telling the story of when Liz called him when Jess was three, freaking out because the only two words he would say were ‘yes’ and ‘no’ when other kids younger than him were starting to speak in broken sentences.

 

000000000000000000000000

 

Jess will admit that, had you not been to one of these town meetings before, that they can be pretty entertaining. But Jess has been to these before. They all go the same way. Taylor brings up an issue, someone will interrupt him halfway through, which makes another person interrupt someone else, and then the whole thing spirals way off topic until Taylor brings the conversation back around to where it started. All in all, it’s like watching Taylor try to herd a bunch of cats.

 

The only thing keeping him from going completely insane is the pure look of amazement on Oliver’s face the whole time. He reminds Jess of one of the kids that got to tour Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory.

 

Lorelai and Rory show up near the end, making a disruption as they head to the front and sit a row ahead of them.

 

“Fancy seeing you two here. Chicken?” Lorelai holds out a tupperware full of chicken.

 

Before Jess can take a piece, Taylor catches them. “I will not say this again, no food!” Lorelai closes the lid, shrugging. “Now, if there are no more disruptions,” He eyes their section. “I would like to bring up our final point of business, which is a certain citizen’s desire to open an old-fashioned soda shop in town.”

 

Jess rolls his eyes. “Oh, jeez.” He mutters to Oliver.

 

Luke jumps up from his seat. “Whoa whoa whoa whoa.”

 

“What’s going on?” Oliver whispers.

 

“Taylor wants to open this shop in the empty space next to the diner, but Luke owns the building and won’t rent it out to Taylor.” Jess catches him up to speed.

 

“This is not a town matter, Taylor! This is a personal matter between you and me, which was settled when I said no!” Luke yells over everyone.

 

“This  _ is _ a town matter because when this town is in need of a particular business to provide necessary services, it’s up to the town to band together and lure it.”

 

“How does a stupid soda shop count as a necessary business?!” Luke snaps.

 

“Maybe because the only market in this town only has three kinds of soda in it.” Jess mutters, causing Oliver to snort back a laugh.

 

By Taylor’s instruction, Kirk rolls forward a table with a cloth on it and pulls it off to show the store he wants to open.

 

Jess leans forward to get a better look. “You fancy playing with dolls now, Taylor?” 

 

Taylor glares at him. “Luke, control your delinquent. And to answer everyone’s questions, this is a professionally manufactured diorama of the proposed business.”

 

Everyone ‘Ooos’ and ‘Ahhs’ at the little people, not one person talking about the store in question. Right on cue, someone points out how big the horse is in relation to everything else, and the whole thing spirals as usual. Taylor and Luke bring the others back on track as, like a tennis match, everyone goes back and forth between Luke and Taylor, watching them argue about town by-laws.

 

Following Lorelai’s lead, Luke gets outnumbered as everyone wants the ice cream and soda. Luke is seething, but groans in defeat. “Fine, but on one condition.” He holds up a finger. Taylor gestures for him to go on, pleased with himself. “You need to allow Jess back in the market.”

 

The smile vanishes from Taylor’s face. “But-”

 

“This is non-negotiable, Taylor. Either let my kid back in your store, or you’ll never rent from me, period.” Luke holds his ground.

 

Taylor sighs, but concedes. “Fine, but I so much as catch him stealing a pack of gum and he is banned for life.” Taylor bangs his gavel, bringing the meeting to an end. The townsfolk begin to file out of the cramped room.

 

“See ya at home, delinquent.” Luke pats him on the back, leaving him speechless. Rory and Lorelai have turned around, asking Oliver how his day went and what he thinks of the town. Jess only partially listens, more focused on watching Luke leave as he thinks about what he said. He knows Luke’s defended him in the past and he always says he has his back, but he’s never seen Luke stand up for him first hand. The even weirder part was that Luke called him his kid. He specifically said ‘My kid’ in front of everyone without any hesitation. Between this and the conversation he had on the bridge today, he’s come to realize he has a ‘before Stars Hollow’ and ‘after Stars Hollow’ mindset now. Before, he would have scowled and made sure to loudly correct that he’s  _ not _ Luke’s kid. That, frankly, he would be insulted by the comment. But it’s so much different now,  _ he’s _ so much different. He feels like one of those animals in some documentary Rory had him watch, like a lion that got hurt in the wild, so they sent it to some rescue to heal, but then it spends so much time around humans that it gets domesticated and can’t survive out in the wild anymore.

 

“Hey,” Lorelai snaps her fingers in his face, snapping him out of his thoughts. “Hello, space cadet. You still with us? Or did you fill your quota of socializing for the day?”

 

“I get charged by the word.”

 

“Well, I’ll leave you this then.” She hands him the tupperware with the chicken, for once devoid of any sarcastic remarks. “Rory and I are gonna go get some Al’s. Have a good night, kid. It was nice meeting you Oliver.” Rory makes a quick goodbye too, promising to see them later. Jess warns them about the beet pasta salad, which earns him a quick thumbs up.

 

Jess leans back in his seat, opening the leftover chicken. “So, you got the full Stars Hollow experience today, including a front row seat to a Luke verses Taylor battle. Still sure you don’t wanna run for the hills screaming?”

 

“Are you kidding? This was the best day I’ve had in a  _ long _ time, there is no way you’re getting rid of me that easily.” Jess gives him a look of disbelief. “No, I’m serious. On a normal weekend I just sit around a giant house by myself.”

 

Jess scoffs. “Hold on while I get my tissues.” He says sarcastically.

 

“Make all the jokes you want, but I mean it. My parents travel for work so much, I see them  _ maybe _ a few times a month, if I’m lucky. The rest of the time it’s just a rotation of house staff that go home to their own families at the end of the day, leaving me alone with just a book or tv for company. So go ahead, laugh, but remember when you go home, you’ll have someone there to greet you.” The chair pushes back as Oliver stands uruptly and he rushes out of the empty dance studio, leaving Jess where he’s still sitting.

 

Tossing the food onto the chair next to him, burying his face into his hands. “Shit…” What is wrong with him? This has to be some sort of record, even for him. It was only today that he told Dean he’d work on not pushing people away, and yet here he is, saying the wrong thing again.

 

00000000000000000

 

Not wanting to go home and face Luke, since that would involve explaining how he screwed up again, Jess takes a walk to clear his head. He makes his way to his favorite spot, freezing at the sight of a figure already sitting on the edge of the bridge. Stamping out one of his smuggled cigarettes, he wanders over hoping to at least try and make up for what he said.

 

“I was a jerk.” The only thing he gets in return is silence. “It was real stupid of me to just assume you have a great life just because you live in a nice house and go to some fancy school. I’m sorry.”

 

“Well, you know what they say about assuming.” Oliver speaks for the first time.

 

Jess gives a small laugh, sitting down next time him. “Yes, I was an ass too. Now, I have it on good authority that you’ll feel even better if you shove me in the lake, but make sure you warn me first so I keep my phone and wallet dry this time.”

 

Oliver shakes his head, fighting back a smile. “I’m not gonna shove you in the lake. Maybe next time though, if the offer still stands.”

 

“I’ll even get someone to get it on film. I’m sure you’ll have a line of volunteers.” That earns him another laugh. “So that means there’ll be a next time? I didn’t push you away for good?” He asks, almost afraid to hear the answer.

 

“I told you, you’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

 

They sit in a comfortable silence, watching the lake when an idea occurs to Jess, knowing just how much it sucks going home and having no one there to greet you. “You could spend the night. That is, if you want to. That way you don’t have to go home to an empty house. The couch is old, but I’ll sleep on it and you can have my bed. I can sleep anywhere, so it’s no problem for me.” He is spending  _ way _ to much time with Lorelai if he’s starting to ramble like her.

 

“The couch is fine. But are you sure, I don’t want to intrude or anything.”

 

“Please, a few carefully timed yawns and Luke will be insisting you stay. He’s a stickler about safe driving.”

 

Oliver nods. “Thanks.” They get up, heading back to Luke’s. “Hey, what happened to the chicken?”

 

“I forgot it in Patty’s. It’s a lost cause now, Luke can make us something instead.” Jess shrugs.

 

“It’s only across the street. Why not just go back and get it?”

 

“Oh, my young padawan, I have so much to teach you still. The number one rule,  _ never _ go to Miss Patty’s without a large group to hide in or some escape plan handy.”

 

“And what’s number two?” Oliver asks, amused.

 

“Never attempt to speak to either Gilmore before they’ve had two cups of coffee, minimum.”

 

“I feel like I should be writing these down.” He jokes.

 

“I’ll make a list back at the apartment for you to study off of.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, that salad is a real thing. I wrote it as a joke, but then found legitimate recipes for it. Except for the warm goat cheese, that part was added by me. Although I have had salad with warm goat cheese and it was the first time I ever came close to throwing up in a restaurant, so it's pretty bad to say the least.


End file.
